A drinking game for the Obama Grand Bargain speech

So our president, Barack Obama, is scheduled to deliver a major speech this afternoon. The Washington Post has a (sanctioned) preview:

Obama turns to his bipartisan deficit commission’s blueprint for reducing debt ... according to people briefed by the White House.

This is the Grand Bargain we've been hearing about. Obama's Deficit Commission never released an official report, so its chairmen, Erskine Bowles and Alan "310 Million Tits" Simpson, released a kind of "chairmen's draft" that serves the same function — put Obama's Grand Bargain on the table.

That report has three legs: (1) Spending cuts, including defense, Medicare and Social Security; (2) Tax increases, such as closing loopholes and ending popular exemptions; and (3) Tax breaks, big ones, for the very rich and for corporations.

But I'll bet my first-born that Obama will only mention the first two legs — spending cuts and tax increases. And that's the "Grand Bargain," spending cuts in exchange for tax increases. Here's how The Hill puts it:

Obama will talk about the need to keep domestic spending low, cut defense spending, reform Medicare and Medicaid and reform the tax code, according to a White House official.

So here's the drinking game. Every time Obama says:

Reform entitlements
Strengthen Social Security
Reform Medicare
Reform Medicaid

Nod wisely to show you're a Very Serious Person. Every time Obama says:

Raise revenues
Reform the tax code
Close loopholes
Reduce defense spending

Raise a glass of your beverage, down it, and say "Never gonna happen!"

And that's the Grand Bargain. You may need a pitcher; it could be a long two years.

GP