Cliff's Corner

The Week That Was 4/6/2007

Another Week. More preposterousness to report.

Some days you're just in the mood for a walk in the local market.

Other days it's good to have 100 soldiers, 3 Black Hawks and 2 Apaches handy to chaperone you on your mundane stroll browsing for deals among local rug merchants.

John McCain had one of the latter recently, and he proved all those nattering nabobs of negativism wrong once again. That's right, choke on his straight talk and independent maverickness you liberal wusses!

McCain can walk the streets of Baghdad with BFFs Graham and Pence, you wimps! So what if he had an infantry battalion that could have stormed Omaha Beach protecting him? Who cares that all of our soldiers not only don't get that, but are lucky if they're funded by McCain for rodentless & urineless sleeping quarters once they return stateside.

In fact, just in case any varmints chose to fight McCain over there so they don't have to fight him over here--like at Walter Reed for example--I hear the army had "lifelong hunter" Mitt Romney available to take the head shot. If dogs were involved, Mrs. Giuliani "3" was to be ready with scalpel and smelling salts.

I feel for the good Senator, though, I really do. Although he did take what looked to be a relaxed jaunt through town, searching for various odds and ends (I do hear Senator Graham's a fantastic shopping companion!), the protective armor and guys with guns made it just too difficult to maneuver for that perfect haggle.

But at least McCain feels more like himself again, since that easy and safe promenade with a few buds. So much so that he has apparently expanded his list of places where he will confidently walk with that John Wayne swagger: 1) Darfur 2) OJ Simpson's driveway 3) Keith Richards' bloodstream and 4) In between Rush Limbaugh and a vial of Oxycontin after a week in the pokey.

For more on this and other stories, please go to cliffschecter.com.