Stop making scents

Please, for the love of God, stop putting perfume in my shampoo.

And my conditioner.

And my skin lotion.

And my shaving cream.

And my soap.

And my hair gel.

And my deodorant.

And my dish soap.

I'm a guy. I'm either gay or metro and like to put on my own cologne, thank you very much ('eau de Mennen' doesn't quite cut it folks), or I'm straight and really don't want to be putting on any perfumes, let alone twelve of them, before my morning coffee.

I'm serious about this. This overkill with perfume in every frigging product has got to stop. Over the past few years I've become allergic to some specific citrus-y perfume. It's the basis of colognes like CK-1 and Incense (it's also the scent that the Aussie product line likes to use). So, I've had to stop buying the products that use this crap, because half the time I don't even know they've put it in and I start wheezing after using it.

This past summer, when I was in Paris, I needed some skin lotion, so went to the supermarket and got something for babies that was specifically labeled "hypoallergenic." It, of course, was loaded with that same citrus-crap that almost killed me. And this was for babies. Imagine the lawsuits if they sold that crap in the US and someone's baby had an allergic reaction to something specifically marked "hypoallergenic" because they actually loaded it with perfume that's known to produce allergic reactions.

I will bet you, and write this down, that in the next ten to twenty years someone will determine that all of these scents are compounding to cause some major health issues. I know I had zero allergies growing up, and now am on antihistimes all four seasons.

You can blame genetics.

I blame Nivea.