Subject line of an email I just received from Amazon.com:
Amazon.com recommends The Protocols Of The Meetings of the Learned Elders Of Zion and more.
I have to admit THAT caught my eye. You may recall that the Protocols of the Elders of Zion is the most significant anti-Semitic tract in the history of the world. Of course, the reason I got this email from Amazon is because I bought that anti-Semitic Henry Ford tome last month when we were battling Ford. Amazon's computer saw that I had an interest in anti-Semitic hate literature so it suggested some more for me. I don't blame Amazon for this, it's a computer and it's doing what it's supposed to be doing. (Though I did get a kick out of the fourth entry in the recommendations, right after the Naziesque anti-Semitic tract Amazon recommends Apple Care!)
Priceless.
Ok, I'm posting this because last night I responded to the Wal-Mart racist Web site controversy with the opinion that it could have been a technical glitch (I also think it could have been an employee playing a racist prank (employee should be fired if that's the case, of course)). I didn't buy the uproar over the issue as evidence that Wal-Mart hates blacks - there is just no way that this was sanctioned from on high. And I think the Amazon case shows how computer software can do its job but still screw up (though it's still possible it was a Wal-Mart employee being a jerk).
Having said that, I have a funny story about Amazon that's relevant to today's email. Amazon took $80 from me last month when one of my gift certificates expired. You see, Amazon has a two year life to their gift certificates and not only do they NOT tell you anywhere on their web site WHEN your certificates will expire, but they also don't notify you by email right before they're going to expire. Amazon just happily takes the money, and when you email them they respond oh well, that's our policy.
It got me wondering just how much money Amazon takes from its customers' gift certificates each year - it got $80 alone from me, how much does it get in the aggregate from all its customers?
According to Amazon, "more than 600,000 [Amazon] gift certificates were ordered between Nov. 25th and Dec. 22nd 2005." That's just that month. For the year, let's say conservatively it's twice that number, 1.2 million. Now let's say that, conservatively, each gift certificate is for 10 bucks. That makes 12 million. Now let's say that ten percent aren't redeemed before they expire, that's a million bucks a year. Hardly chump change.
Then it got me wondering if it was reasonable for Amazon to take our money without warning us - they simply give you a piece of paper when you get the certificate initially, and that piece of paper has the expiration on it. But once you enter a special code in the Amazon web site to activate your certificate, which they recommend you do from the start, there's no further mention from Amazon when it expires, so you forget, throw away the paper thinking it's served its purpose, and can't find the expiration dates anywhere online. Convenient.
Anyway, it got me asking myself why Amazon doesn't bother emailing folks right before they take your money. The cynic in me would say that if Amazon emailed you, well, then you'd remember and buy something - and then Amazon would lose lots and lots of free money - your money. But maybe it's too much trouble for Amazon to email each and every one of its customers, you might say?
Well, if Amazon can email me a recommendation to buy Naziesque anti-Semitic tracts, I think they can take the time to email me right before they take my, and your, money for free.
There's gotta be a really nice class action lawsuit here for some enterprising lawyer. I can't believe a court is going to find that it's "reasonable" for Amazon not to have any indication in your online account of when the certificates expire, and for them not to email you a final warning while they gladly email you monthly spam to buy their goods.
But I'm not bitter.
- Amazon screwing you out of a gift certificate: $80
- Getting your revenge by exposing Jeff Bezos and Amazon's promotion of anti-semitism: Priceless
