Wikileaks releases Boehner's Netflix file (satire)

SatireWire:

“I used to go to the movies. I can’t even go to theaters anymore. It’s the stories. ‘Sophie’s Choice.’ ‘Bambi.’ All these people chasing the American dream. Netflix brings those to me,” [Boehner] sobbed, eventually burying his head into the shoulder of House Minority Whip Eric Cantor.

Boehner’s lachrymose side has been on display since the election, and most notably on Sunday when he broke into tears twice during an interview with CBS’ 60 Minutes. Democrats have begun to question his stability, but Republicans are standing behind their leader — often with tissues at the ready — saying his methods have already proven effective.

At the White House, President Obama agreed, revealing that his recent compromise with Republicans was primarily an effort to placate Boehner, who “fell apart” during a meeting in which the President said he wanted to raises taxes on the wealthiest Americans.

“My first mistake was going to the Republican Caucus on a Thursday, which, I learned, is chick-flick night,” Obama recalled. “So they’re all an emotional mess by the time I get there."