The good news is, the flights are short so the misery can only last for so long. It will be like every country bumpkin who steps on the Eurostar and immediately starts yapping on their phone at levels loud enough for the entire train to hear "we're leaving London now on the train...yes, the train that goes under the Channel..." (Yes, the damned train that has been running for around 15 years now. *That* train, now shut up.)
It's one of those common courtesy things where nice people step between cars and call instead of waking the dead as though mobile phones were only invented yesterday and insist on yelling. I like to think my groans on the train of "shut up and go to the end" have helped but I have plenty of company in that department these days. If Facebook wasn't so evil, I might even start a group of those who detest phone screaming on trains or other confined areas but fortunately the actions infuriate others enough to charge into action without an online group. French railways have been assigning seats in talking cars or no-phone cars which is great. This works well for everyone who can't manage the 3 second walk to the end of the car.
On the new Ryanair flights, you'll be out of luck as there will be nowhere to hide. On the upside, as long as you aren't carrying any luggage or want anything to drink, the price is nice. Pack your ear plugs and everything will be fine.
In its illustrious history of reshaping air travel, Ryanair has totted up many firsts. It proudly introduced the £9.50 airport check-in fee, bravely pioneered the £3 cup of no-frills instant coffee and recently dreamt up the brilliant wheeze of charging £30 if your duty-free fails to fit in your hand luggage.
Shortly after 10am yesterday, flight FR113 from Gatwick to Dublin changed flying in Britain forever by unleashing on the unsuspecting air traveller another budget airline innovation. Precisely seven minutes after take-off, a green light on a newly-installed overhead cabin sign lit up, reading: "Mobile use permitted."
Rest assured, the steeply-priced snacks were still there, along with the £9.50 airport check-in fee, the £16 excess baggage levy and the eye-watering £142.50 charge to change a name on a ticket. But to this cornucopia of what Ryanair likes to call its "ancillary revenues" can now be added a new wallet-bashing in-flight experience – the £3 per minute mid-air phone call.
From this week, Ryanair's 67 million passengers will be able to use their mobile phones at 30,000ft, after the Irish airline installed cutting-edge technology that allows voice calls, text messages and emails to penetrate one of the few remaining modes of public transport that has hitherto been free from those conversations along the lines of: "Hello? Hello? I'm on the ... Hello? Hello? Yes, it's me, I've been delayed... Hello? Hello?"
