Cliff's Corner

The Week That Was 1/26/07

Another Week. More preposterousness to report.

Do you hang out at "the club" with assless guys named Chip who claim "it's not the heat it's the humidity" while puffing on a Cellini and blurting out how it'd be just "smashing" if workers could find a little more of that "can do spirit," instead of relying on government guarantees--like say the minimum wage?

You don't? Well then the Republican Party hates you.

Because, under the cloak of an amendment only 56 words in length, the friendly coward Sen. Wayne Allard -- who's not running for reelection in 2008, because he knows Colorado likely won't reelect someone who's to legislating what ABC's Isaiah Washington is to prime time ratings -- tried to eliminate the federal minimum wage. Yup, you read that right.

Not keep it where it is. Or lower it. But eliminate it completely, like it's that last stubborn firing neuron left in Ted Nugent's obtuse skull that just hasn't gotten the telegram from his fallen comrades.

28 Republicans voted for this effort to strip hard-working Americans of one of their few protections, one which should be enhanced by at least 75% and maybe would be, if not for drooling cretins like Allard. This distinguished list of supporters also includes such compassionate conservatives as "Double-Talk" McCain, Brokeback Sam and Sunununununu (better get those heavy breathers ready for some ample phone jamming in 2008!). Sadly though, with 80% of Americans supporting a raise in the minimum wage, they've got the atta boy of as much of the public on this issue as they do for the "Surge To Nowhere."

But, hey, David Broder thinks it's not important when Republicans lie, cheat and steal, and who am I to question someone who hasn't gotten anything right since Greta Garbo played Mata Hari?

Then there are the spit-suckle tards at that dime-store Pravda... Disney/ABC (and you thought I was going to say "FOX News"). In fact, they're quickly upping their furrowed brow bona fides by the week. From the anti-gay, anti-Muslim Glenn Beck (who fantasizes about assassinating Michael Moore - seriously) to "The Path to 9/11" this company is trying to hide the fact that Mickey Mouse sent Mark Foley a pic by allowing Fox to air scenes from that defamatory piece of revisionist 9/11 bile they aired prior to the 2006 election.

Does Disney/ABC understand what "public good" means? It is ostensibly the purpose for their existence, which I would assume means not cozying up to the irrational right-wing segmented worms who have turned American families into Baghdad fodder. Maybe the new Democratic Congress should take a look at whether Disney/ABC is living up to the expectations of holding a broadcast license in this country.

Or at the very least make John Stossel shave his Geraldo/Ron Jeremy stache.

From minimum wage to minimum talent, what a week it's been in the uber-moronic hi-jincks of a political movement befouled by the stench of death.