US govt issues report on Mermaids following citizens' angry inquiries

No amnesty for Mermaids.

This is the same citizenry that thinks health care reform should be repealed, but overwhelmingly supports most of the legislation's individual provisions.

Apparently, the Discovery Channel did a show on Mermaid that concluded that the evidence for their existence is "wildly conclusive."

Well, that got people writing to NOAA, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, demanding that NOAA come clean on the Mermaid threat.  So NOAA did.

NOAA was, sadly, less sanguine.