Yes, GOP, your nominee could be a Mexican

After reality star, and top Mitt Romney surrogate, Donald Trump's table-flipping interview with Wolf Blitzer yesterday, it's getting harder to ignore the screaming-subway-lady antics of Birthers. Sure, they're fun to mock like teasing my cat Henry with a cat-shaped laser pointer, but even he knows to eventually give it a rest and instead nap on my warm laundry.

There are really two points of thinking (I'm using that word generously) from Birthers concerning why they think Obama is ineligible to be president. The first is they believe he's ineligible because he was born in Kenya or Krypton or something. Of course, this thinking is only relevant when disregarding the fact that he was born here, and that both the State of Hawaii and the White House have two websites dedicated to educating the freaks who think otherwise.

Snopes says the birth certificate is real.  And Factcheck.org seems to agree.

(Side note: Remember when Republicans also accused all the white presidents of faking their birth certificates?)

The second Birther claim is by far the most hilarious: namely, that the Constitution states that both parents must be natural-born citizens of the United States in order to be president. The Philadelphia Convention must have written that clause in invisible ink, because nowhere in Article II, Section 1, Clause 5 of the Constitution does it state that. The Constitution states that the candidate must only be born here (check), must be at least 35-years-old (check), and be a US resident for at least 14 years (check).

What makes the second thinking so hilarious is that under Birthers' very own logic, the GOP's 2012 presidential nominee Mitt Romney is also ineligible to be president - his papi was born in Mexico.

Mitt's dad George Romney was governor of Michigan for two terms, and even unsuccessfully ran for the presidency in 1968. But spanning his life back a few decades, today's anti-Mexican Republicans might be a little upset to know that George was born in present-day Chihuahua, Mexico, after his grandparents had fled the United States' pesky anti-polygamy laws a few decades earlier (now there's some family values). It might be interesting to ask Birthers where they were when George Romney was running in 1968, since his Mexican birth would seem to violate the whole "natural-born" clause thing.

Oh, that's right: He's white.

That aside, it would seem that under their very own logic, Mitt Romney is also not eligible to run for president, having only one parent who was a natural-born citizen. After all, it's what they claim about Obama, since his father was born in Kenya. Yet there seems to be no Birther faction questioning Mitt's citizenship and eligibility - they say he's qualified. In fact, Mitt is so qualified to be a US citizen, that he's even qualified to be a citizen of Mexico.

Yes, GOP, your current nominee could be a Mexican.

Mexican law states that Mexico-born parents can register their US-born kids with the Mexican consulate, thus making them dual citizens of the US and Mexico, with full rights from each nation. George Romney was born in Mexico, so Mitt can be a Mexican citizen. This might not poll so well with a party willing to "joke" about electrocuting Mexicans in order to stop them from getting into the country. Of course, it won't make Mitt so popular with the Mexican side either, after Mitt kindly asked them to self-deport last year.

It's clear Birthers are willing to forgo harassing the white guy about his ineligibility, the same ineligibility they've already clearly defined for the Black one. But these are the same people who think the president grabbed Doc Brown and transported via DeLorean to 1961 in order to place his own fake birth announcement in Hawaiian newspapers, so there's that. But it's too late, GOP. Mitt is officially your guy. So turn the channel to Telemundo and start campaigning to make Romney el presidente. La Casa Blanca will never be the same again.