Evangelical leader Haggard: I didn't inhale, did get a massage from a gay hooker, but did not have sex with that man

Delicious.

Evangelist Ted Haggard admitted Friday that he bought methamphetamine and received a massage from a gay prostitute who claims he was paid for drug-fueled trysts by the outspoken gay marriage opponent.

Haggard resigned Thursday as president of the National Association of Evangelicals and stepped down as leader of his Colorado megachurch while the two groups investigate the allegations.

Talking to reporters outside his house Friday, Haggard denied the sex allegations but said that he did buy meth from the man because he was curious.

"I bought it for myself but never used it," he said. "I was tempted, but I never used it."

Let's walk through what we now know, and don't know, at this point.

1. The anti-gay top evangelical leader in America, Ted Haggard, bought crystal meth from a gay hooker who has been giving him "massages" for three years.

2. That same evangelical leader lied yesterday when confronted with these allegations. Haggard said none of the allegations were true, and he said he'd never heard of Mike Jones, his accuser (and three year masseur and drug dealer).

3. Haggard wants us to believe that he was simply "curious" about crystal meth and that's why he bought some. Curious? I've been curious about a lot of things, but I've never bought hard drugs - especially while posing as the top family values conservative in America.

4. How exactly did Haggard know he could buy crystal meth from his masseur? Did Haggard continue to frequent this masseur for massages after he knew the masseur was also a drug dealer? And are the local police going to prosecute Mr. Haggard for buying hard drugs?

5. So Haggard claims he went to a gay masseur, who is also an escort, for three years but he never had sex with that man. Huh. Okay, then how did Haggard find the gay masseur escort in the first place? I could easily imagine a gay man looking for a masseur in the gay press - it's nicer to go to one of your own. But how does the top evangelical Christian leader in America end up finding a masseur who happens to be a gay escort? This just in from CNN, Haggard claims he found the masseur via a referral from a hotel he was staying at. Haggard also now admits that the voicemail recordings ARE him, and that he was trying to buy the crystal meth.

6. Does religious right leader James Dobson still think Haggard is a man of outstanding character?

7. And Joe wants to know, did he get a happy ending?