Cliff's Corner

The Week That Was 9/15/06

Another week. More preposterousness to report.

Or should I say another day, another Republican heading to the pokey? Ho-hum. This time it is Bob Ney’s turn, for colluding with Jack Abramoff to basically be a venal reprobate. Yet, nobody can deny Ney’s political talent. It’s tough to so closely attend to the interests of the residents of Zanesville, Ohio while using laundered money from a Native American tribe in Texas to play golf in Scotland. Now that’s impressive.

Not to mention that you’ve got to give the Republican Party credit for being the only entity able to produce a guy who’s so white he gets sunburned in the United Kingdom.

But Ney was not the only lying GOP malcontent on display this week. I know, shocking. Anne Coulter’s goiter also un-holstered itself to claim that Disney/ABC’s docu-Pravda was based on the 9/11 report, which is about as accurate as claiming she was born blonde. Or that Walt Disney didn’t molest wallabies on a tour of the Australian Outback.

You mean you never heard about that? Well don’t worry, I chronicle this entire sordid episode of American history in my new “docudrama,” Walt Disney: The Path to Bestiality.

And luckily for us, because I was beginning to miss the guy, Bob Novak stuck his head up out of the earth once again this past week (three words Bob: hunting, you and Cheney) to come up with story #4 about how he used his column to sell out a United States operative and enable America’s enemies. His lies even have lies resting comfortably inside of them at this point. He lies so much he has to hide them in his Depends. He lies…well you get the point.

So I’m waiting for the inevitable promotion to Washington Post editor.

But as is often the case, the biggest liar among a cast of thousands, from Coulter to ABC to Novak, is once again our humble president. This time he made a major speech blabbering on about how important it is that we get bin Laden, right before our Pakistani “allies” made a deal with the remnants of the Taliban to essentially provide indoor plumbing and conditioned air for his grotto.

And then the Bush we know and love came out to play. He told the slack-jawed, corporate-humping, super-dork Republican-operative-in-journalist’s-clothing Fred Barnes that capturing bin Laden is “not a top priority use of American resources.” Amazing. Bush knows what resources means?

Seriously, so the guy who is Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin and Skeletor all wrapped into one tidy 6’4 package, who has been as difficult to find as WMDs in Iraq or a Dashiki in George Allen’s closet is now not worthy of using our assets? Is Bush trying to privatize anti-terrorism and war in addition to Social Security? (well actually, yes, go buy Robert Greenwald’s fantastic new film Iraq For Sale to get all the disgusting details).

So let me get this straight. Mr. Zap, who liked setting records for executions in Texas, doesn’t think killing the guy who mass-murdered Americans and is most definitely planning to kill many more merits our “resources,” but thinks Paris Hilton needs those very resources in the form of another tax cut?

If that is not a campaign commercial for every Democrat running for Congress right now, I really don’t know what is.

You can catch my new articles on the future of Republican Senate Leadership in this month’s Washington Monthly Magazine, here and here.

My take on Keith Olbermann’s fantastic commentary the other night on Bush’s politicization of 9/11 at The Huffington Post here.

And if you feel like watching some TV on Sunday, I'll be on MSBNC debating a Republican to named later on Bush, terrorism and opposition within his own party. I'll be on twice, from 12:00-12:15 pm and 12:45-1:00 pm Eastern Time.