Cliff's Corner

The Week That Was 8/25/06

Another week. More preposterousness to report.

God I am getting sick and tired of writing about sycophantic, self-important, GOP nipple-suckler Joe Lieberman. But every time I think the cybernetic, pseudo-ecclesiastic, corporate wet-dream is done screwing the Democratic Party -— to deafening silence from elected Democrats in Washington (with notable exceptions Russ Feingold, John Kerry and Maxine Waters) only broken by methane backfires emanating from Bush’s alimentary canal and the guffaws of a circle of Pioneer offspring giving each other handies—Little Joey one-ups himself on the quisling scale.

These days Joe is not only repeating nauseating Cheneyisms (maybe he too can soon have his heart pump Exxon leaded), using a right-wing pollster who works for the troglodytic Rick Santorum and Connecticut Republicans Rob Simmons (one of the most vulnerable GOP House Incumbents) and Jodi Rell, but he has finally completed his quest to sink as low as it takes for electoral self-preservation by campaigning with these very same GOPers. Please Joe, tell us again how you’re really a Democrat?

Because it would seem to be as comfortable for you these days as riding shotgun with Mel Gibson after a fifth of Southern Comfort while writing a screenplay about Torquemada.

Joe also thinks the current terrorist threat is more dangerous than were the Nazis or Soviets, which leads me to conclude that he has ascended a full four-levels of crazy, all the way from Jean Schmidt past Katherine Harris, John Mark Carr and up to James Inhofe. It will take some effort to get past Inhofe, however, who thinks global warming is “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated upon the American people” and extols what has been accomplished in Iraq as a “nothing short of a miracle.”

Funny, that is the word I would use to describe how this cretin occupies a US Senate seat instead of being used as a crash-test dummy.

But back to my main point. Joe, I am really asking nicely now, please do us all a favor and just go away, so we can write about a new topic, preferably involving someone who doesn’t talk like they need a napalm inhaler. I know Saturday night cocktails aren't as good in Waterbury as Georgetown. And what would Karl Rove do without his "date rape" Democrat?

He had Bob Bullock back in Texas to convince people a right-wing changeling governor was accomplished and bipartisan. Then he found Crazy Zell, fresh off of an encounter with a pack of rabid kinkajous. Now he needs you, Joe, to provide the similar facade of “unity,” which just happens to be your campaign message (I know, major coincidence there).

But Karl can find someone else for the part. Ben Nelson is certainly auditioning. Or maybe we can make Al Wynn a Senator. Hell I’d take Tom Cruise in a trade at this point (I hear he has some free time). Please Joe, a lot of people in Connecticut already tried to subtely imply they don't really like you. And I promise, there is a kicking career waiting for you as a mortician if you’d just give it half a chance.