The Week That Was 7/07/06
Another week. More preposterousness to report.
Well thank God we elected a man to set US foreign policy who considers going to Tijuana on a ganja run "informative international travel." Remember all that big talk about the adults coming into office in 2000, delivering that humble foreign policy we were promised. "No nation-building" and all that? I guess humble to the GOP means either immorally invading countries based upon lies and misinformation or entirely ignoring festering problems at home until Bush and his buddies can toast their marshmallows over the flames of war they’ve watched commence on DirectTV.
What is telling right now is that the fact that eight bombs which killed over 200 people in Mumbai barely rate mention on the news, because terrorist attacks likely carried out by Kashmiri extremists aren’t important. It’s not like mortal enemies India and Pakistan have nuclear weapons. Oh, that’s right, they do. But it’s not like they’ve threatened to use them on each other. Ok, they’ve done that too. But at least President Bush doesn’t think that India’s president’s name is Crazy Horse. Oh…right.
And North Korea's Taepodong-2 Missile must be mainlining cocktails right now like Dick Cheney holding a shotgun and eyeing a campaign contributor. I mean this poor projectile goes to all the trouble to convince Japan to consider abrogating its constitution in favor of launching a military strike against North Korea, and yet, this week it has fared about as well as Mary Cheney’s book sales. Last week Taepodong was all the hype. But then Iraq had to go Civil War-ing and the rest of the Middle East had to decide to do its impression of 1973.
Somewhere there's a Neocon who won't have to resort to Marey Carey videos for that usual pick me up this weekend.
So is Bush responsible for all of this? No, of course not for EVERYTHING. But why not go through a checklist of the above and see where The Decider has helped our world become a more special place for all of us whose reading list isn't restricted to the Left Behind series or upside-down goat books.
- Inflame Muslim World... Check.
- Alternatively threatening and ignoring North Korea while splitting time between starting war in Iraq, choking on snack food and playing with Lego dinosaurs... Check.
- Unnecessary war started in Iraq while shutting down CIA unit charged with finding Osama... Check.
- Spending key homeland security funds on protecting dog parks in Kalamazoo... Check.
- Kissing young boy’s stomach in creepy display of affection. (Ok, that was an entirely different authoritarian jackass, but some Bush Administration members have contemplated it.)... Half a check.
- Kissing Sharon’s ass in Israel, when he was still with us (as opposed to say, doing something nutty and working with those who actually seek peace and security, i.e., Israel's Labor Party), and lecturing the Israelis on restraint while carpet-bombing Fallujah - proving we practice what Bush would like to preach during prayer-time in public schools... Check.
