Cliff's Corner

The Week That Was 7/07/06

Another week. More preposterousness to report.

I usually save this space to point out the rank hypocrisy and Rovian vulgarity that is today’s GOP. So in that spirit, let’s talk about Joe Lieberman. Lieberman, who was disappointed because he had to cancel plans to fly to Mexico and concede the election for the liberal party pre-finished recount to make the debate, showed up late with a scowl not on display when he played reach-around with Dick Cheney during their 2000 Vice-Presidential... conversation.

It was actually impressive. Lieberman, who was boorish, dismissive and pompous all at once, while debating challenger Ned Lamont, had that fire in his eye he usually reserves for strapping an underage rape victim to a gurney before using Mapquest to direct her to a hospital in Rhode Island for emergency contraception. Yes, JoeMania was sure on the prowl, ripping into the dignified Lamont, for crazy stuff like wanting to provide healthcare to people who haven’t donated to his campaign, not viewing Iraq through rosé-colored glasses and speaking in a voice that doesn’t remind you of one of Santa’s little helpers.

Mostly Lieberman seemed annoyed that he had to even submit the vagaries of democracy. Which one can understand after he rigged the 2000 election to make sure that no matter what happened to “his party,” he would still have plush offices in Washington within craps-tossing distance of Bill Bennett’s place, so he could make it over for a liberal-bashing session before the sans-slots-sweats got to be too overpowering for his olfactory nerves. Which is really what last night’s debate was all about. Whether you can spend 5+ years giving a nasal colonoscopy to a president who thinks when it’s raining that God had an oopsy and still retain any credibility whatsoever.

As I have said before in this piece, this is not just about the war. It is about the abject enabling of a law-breaking, morally ambiguous group of corporate hard-ons run by a 60-year old man-infant whose mother is beginning to look like The Petrified Forest. Yeah, I know that last part isn’t really relevant. But God do I detest Barbara Bush.

In any case, that’s the problem here Joe. It’s a “best of times, worst of times” kind of moment and America’s being led on the same basic trajectory as a Taepodong-2. We need a Democrat from a blue state to not agree with a talk show host with blue pills about what constitutes good policy. Got it Joe?

You and your elite chums like to claim you’re a JFK Democrat. But that’s not how you’ve acted Joe, and a guy who voted for that crappy bankruptcy bill and hangs out with Bill Bennett should certainly understand the concept of having debts called in. So the way I see it, you owe a debt to constitutional democracy and it's come calling...or "petitioning" as you might say.

Regardless, just remember when your political role model JFK said “ask not what your country can do for you… .” Oh right, my bad, Ann Coulter apparently coined that phrase in her book right before endorsing your candidacy.