UPDATE to our action alert

In response to our Masturbation Monday action alert (below), a number of the Hill offices are asking for your zip code to prove that you reside in their district or their state.

For Senators, simply find a zip code from this page (type in City and State, and it gives you zip codes).

For House members, you need to find a city in their district. One easy way is to go to their Web site, then find the "contact" link. It will give you contact information, including a postal address, for their local offices in their home state. Use the zip code they provide.

And don't worry about mixing things up a bit. Perhaps call one office and ask about cunnilingus, then call another and ask about masturbation. I know I, for example, really want to know if the unmarried Lindsey Graham (R-SC) masturbates (he's not supposed to according to the Bible and the religious right), and he'd better be practicing abstinence.

I'd also like to know why Kay Bailey Hutchison is divorced. She's making Jesus cry.

And finally, does Rick Santorum practice cunnilingus and has he ever had a blow job?

Marriage is on the line folks, we simply must ensure that icky sex is not being practiced in the halls of Congress.