Dear Abby,

Dear Abby,

Your longstanding support for equal rights for gay men and lesbians has been amazing. You are a consistent voice of tolerance that reaches Americans of every walk of life in every state. But in today's column, I think you flubbed.

You tell the story of a man about to be married and how this man's gay brother, who is also his best friend, refuses to be the best man at his brother's wedding (or even attend) because it would be a reminder that gays are not permitted to marry in America (outside of Massachusetts). You tell the man to respect his brother's decision.

Hogwash.

I support equal marriage rights for gay Americans, but I'm not going to ruin my brother's wedding over it. That strikes me as well-intentioned, but terribly wrong. Unless the guy's brother is a big homophobe, there is no reason to boycott his wedding. It's cruel and hurtful and selfish, and does nothing to help the civil rights of gay men and lesbians other than making us look rather petulant and mean.

Again, I don't want to knock gay brother for taking a stand - oh that more gays (and progressives) did - but gay bro needs to be slapped upside his head on this one. He has many enemies in America, but his loving brother isn't one of them. If the brother wants to make a point, he should be bring a date to the wedding - a male one.

JOHN