The Week That Was 6/30/06
Note: Please check out my new regular segment at politicstv.com called Republican Sexcapades. Those who like what I do will enjoy it, for the rest of you it provides a nice, safe place to spit in my face.
Another week. More preposterousness to report.
Well those cunning linguists in the Grand Old Party have been more active than a Republican consultant immersed in a throng of underage lesbians lately. First flapping their jaws about Iraq, then gay marriage, then flag burning, now the New York Times and its treasonous, you know, reporting on stuff in a democracy. Representative Peter King, better known as a former bag man for the IRA, thinks The New York Times should be prosecuted for disclosing their bank-tapping program, so secret it already had a public Web site devoted to it.
So Representative King’s jowls have been all over television lately, shaking as flaccidly as Rush Limbaugh when his luggage gets held up at the airport.
This of course is all part of the plan by the Bush Administration. It is called Operation "We’ve destroyed the budget, Iraq, Ken Mehlman’s night life, Medicare, John McCain’s last shred of integrity, education, the chances of Jenna’s scoring blow in the near future, gas prices and America’s defenses — so let’s distract people with hate so they mightn’t notice how we govern like Nicolae Ceaucescu."
Condi, of course, views this plan of attack as a historical document.
As for the multifaceted right-wing assault on The Times, it’s a given that the media will dutifully report the Administration line about how they leak like Starr Jones after a staple bursts. Without the slightest trace of irony, of course, that an admitted leaker/traitor named Rove is still on the White House payroll, free to spread the reek of day old buckets of KFC and emit global warming from his armpits all within spitting distance of the Oval Office. Or at least close enough for Senator George Allen to hoc a loogy when the camera’s on and he’s chewing a wad of tobaccy to make himself seem all Southern-like.
Speaking of the Virginia cabana boy, this week we got perhaps the best example of how a Democrat SHOULD respond when attacked by one of these atavistic, intellectual croutons trying to take this treasury-wasting, mind-numbing, faux-populist “legislative agenda” out for a spin to attack those who actually intend to do the people’s business. Allen attacked Democratic opponent Jim Webb (former Reagan Secretary of the Navy turned Democrat), implying he was not patriotic because he doesn’t think our Constitution need be amended to outlaw the possibility that Dick Cheney might shoot a hunting buddy in his American flag-draped drawers and go to jail for despoiling our nation’s symbol of its grandeur.
Here was part of the Webb Campaign’s response:
“While Jim Webb and others of George Felix Allen Jr.’s generation were fighting for our freedoms and for our symbols of freedom in Vietnam, George Felix Allen Jr. was playing cowboy at a dude ranch in Nevada. People who live in glass dude ranches should not question the patriotism of real soldiers who fought and bled for this country on a real battlefield.”God I hope Democrats can learn from this. In that one statement, Team Webb are exposing what an elitist tool Allen is, all the while mocking his ballot-searching backseat-driving on patriotism. It’s not too late Democrats, pay heed!
Otherwise you’ll just consent to being tarred and feathered by a chickenhawk, you know the kind of man’s man who likes to wear flight suits and ten-gallon hats because its makes the quivering stop momentarily as he ponders the complexities of the modern world or multi-syllabic words. Just remember, you have to be ready to stand up so that the Republicans will stand down.
Otherwise find a way to get the GOP caucus to read one of Peter King’s “novels.” The resulting ulcerative colitis should render even your average GOP candidate unable to manufacture bullshit for at least a few weeks.
