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Lies, All Lies



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From an amazing diary on DailyKos by Dave V. I had to copy the entire list to give you the full effect - read these (the names towards the end are the readers who contributed the "lie.")

  • Stephen Colbert was not funny.
  • Helen Thomas is old and batty.
  • Mexicans are taking our jobs.
  • Iraq sent its WMDs to Syria.
  • Democrats don't want to wiretap terrorists.
  • Joe Wilson admitted that Valerie Plame wasn't covert.
  • Karl Rove has a faulty memory.
  • Scooter Libby has a faulty memory.
  • Tom DeLay is like Jesus Christ.
  • No one could have anticipated that the levees would be breached.
  • We do not torture.
  • There is no global warming.
  • There is global warming, but humans didn't cause it.
  • Howard Dean can't raise money.
  • John F. Kerry is a flip-flopper.
  • George W. Bush is a decider.
  • John McCain is a straight-shooter.
  • Dick Cheney is a sober shooter.
  • Nobody at the White House knows Jack Abramoff.
  • Democrats do.
  • The economy is great.
  • Evolution isn't supported by the facts.
  • Diebold voting machines are secure.
  • Fox News is fair and balanced.
  • Mission accomplished.
  • Bill Clinton did it too.
  • No one could have anticipated the Iraqi insurgency.
  • The budget deficit will be cut in half in four years.
  • Anyone who thinks Dubai shouldn't control our ports is racist.
  • No one who thinks we should build a wall along the Mexican border is racist.
  • George Allen isn't a racist... anymore.
  • Terry Schiavo wants to live.
  • Andrea Clark wants to die.
  • We've turned a corner in Iraq.
  • There's a war on Christmas.
  • There's a war on Easter.
  • There's no civil war in Iraq.
  • The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa.
  • Up is down.
  • Black is white.
  • Bush won Florida in 2000. – calebfaux
  • Bush won Ohio in 2004. – calebfaux
  • We support open, free, and fair elections ... for the Ukraine. – Eddie Haskell
  • I earned political capital... and I intend to spend it. –Eddie Haskell
  • Losing by 2 million votes in 2000 is a mandate. – weelzup
  • Winning by 3 million votes in 2004 is a mandate. -- weelzup
  • Bush won a mandate for his conservative agenda. –calebfaux
  • The grownups will now be in charge. – SteveLCo
  • The rule of law is important.--Andy30tx
  • This administration will hold itself accountable.-- SteveLCo
  • No one could have anticipated Katrina would hit New Orleans. – Hells Bells
  • Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job. –snoopydog
  • No one could have foreseen the failure of FEMA.—Arken
  • Kathleen Blanco never asked for federal help.-- Willow72
  • Ray Nagin should have used the buses. -- Willow72
  • Ellen DeGeneres caused Hurricane Katrina. –cajay
  • Gay couples seek to destroy Marriage. – Torta
  • God plays favorites (just like Dad). –Yellow Canary
  • Ignorance is strength. -- pdq
  • Man existed alongside the dinoraurs. -- SteveLCo
  • Moral values voters. –obgynlover
  • The earth is 6,000 years old. – fool me once umm
  • We're not interested in banning contraceptives. – RainyDay
  • America is a Christian nation. –Sister Havana
  • GWB is a Godly man. – x
  • Bush flew F-102s in the Texas Air National Guard. – gatorcog
  • Bush is a compassionate conservative. –I like Ike
  • Bush is a great guy to have a beer with. – hrh
  • Bush is no longer an alcoholic. –lawstudent922
  • Dubya owns an honest-to-God real ranch. – Plutonium Page
  • It's a working vacation. I'm working.—Plutonium Page
  • George W. Bush is a genius. – cmrizcha
  • Dubya is a great cyclist. – Plutonium Page
  • Guns don't kill people... pretzels do. –Dittoz
  • George Bush is a war hero. – American Zapatista
  • ...and John Kerry isn't. – American Zapatista
  • John Kerry "outed" Mary Cheney-- IndyScott
  • John Kerry shot himself in the leg to earn his medals-- IndyScott
  • Al Gore thinks he invented the internet. -- Willow72
  • Ronald Reagan was the best president in history. –Sister Havana
  • Harry Whittington got himself peppered. -- Willow72
  • Bill Clinton caused 9/11 – cmrizcha
  • Bill Clinton was once offered Bin Laden "on a silver platter" and turned it down. – IndyScott
  • Saddam Hussein attacked us on 9/11. – lawstudent922
  • 9/11 changed everything. – Dittoz
  • No one could have anticipated airplanes flying into buildings. – Dems2004
  • No one could have foreseen the effects of nuking Iran (next year's press conference).—Arken
  • War is peace. -- pdq
  • We have removed the Taliban from Afghanistan. – mjd in Florida
  • The Iraqis will welcome us with open arms and flowers... – calebfaux
  • It could take six days, six weeks, I doubt six months. –librarianman
  • Pat Tillman was killed by enemy fire-- IndyScott
  • Yellow magnetic car ribbons really help the troops. – Dems2004
  • The insurgency is in its last throes. -- nicejoest
  • But even if Iraq IS in a Civil War, its a good thing. – cmrizcha
  • The only way to get Zarqawi is to invade Iraq. – mecki
  • We're fighting them over there so we don't have to fight them over here. – IndyScott
  • When they stand up, we'll stand down.--Andy30tx
  • Iraqi oil will pay for the war and the reconstruction. –librarianman
  • Gas prices are high because of librul environmental regulations. --adigal/surferal
  • Drilling the ANWR will lower the price of oil. –I like Ike
  • Gas prices are high because of taxes.-- Willow72
  • The 'magic of the marketplace' will solve all problems. – SteveLCo
  • Unemployment numbers have never been so low. -- adigal
  • Republicans restored the economy after the shambles left by Clinton. – Ky DEM
  • Clinton/Gore recession. – adigal
  • The economy is booming! – adigal
  • As President, Governor Bush will...pay the debt down to a historically low level. –Nonie3234
  • [B]y far the vast majority of my tax cuts go to the bottom end of the spectrum. –Nonie3234
  • Tax breaks for Hummers is good for the economy. –x
  • Tax cuts are super for the middle class. -- Ky DEM
  • Tax cuts increase revenue. -- SteveLCo
  • The estate tax hurts family farms.—SteveLCo
  • Private Accounts will save Social Security. –I like Ike
  • Bush will make health insurance affordable for hard-working, low-income families. –Nonie3234
  • Healthy Forests Initiative will help forests. -- House
  • No Child Left Behind will help all children. -- House
  • Healthy Skies Initiative will reduce air pollution. – House
  • Nobody wants reform more than Republicans. –MichaelPh
  • Republicans are compassionate conservatives. –Missliberties
  • Republicans are pro-life. -- dcookie
  • Freedom is slavery. -- pdq
  • The government is tapping your phone to protect you. – ukben
  • Dissent is unpatriotic. –x
  • Valerie Plame is covert and a traitor. --dday
  • Karl Rove couldn't have done it because he knew he'd get caught. --dday
  • Patrick Fitzgerald is going to indict Joe Wilson. --dday
  • Bush and his twin were funny. --Andy30tx
  • Jeff Gannon is a serious journalist-- IndyScott
  • Rush is Right. – Eddie Haskell
  • The media is liberal. –freedom fried
  • No one could have anticipated that Colbert would tell the world the Emperor has no clothes. – Hells Bells
  • Everything is hunky-dory. – subtropolis
  • You're either with us, or against us. –Edanger6
  • A vote for John Kerry, is a vote for Al Qaeda. –Edanger6
  • George Bush doesn't read the polls. –Edanger6
  • ...But he does read all those books. –Edanger6
  • Everyone had the same intelligence. –Edanger6
  • Iraq is the central front on the war on terrorism. –Edanger6
  • All options are on the table. –Edanger6
  • Republicans are the party of ideas. –Edanger6
  • Those trucks we found in Iraq were mobile biological weapons labs. --IndyScott
  • We know where they (the WMD) are. --IndyScott
  • These are not assertions. These are facts backed up by solid intelligence. --IndyScott
  • Terri Schiavo is responsive. (Bill Frist on the Senate floor). --IndyScott
  • I never said she was responsive (Bill Frist, about a week later). --IndyScott
  • Anyone who leaks information will no longer be part of this administration. –IndyScott
  • Sex Education causes STDs and increases pregnancy rates. –Condoleaser
  • HPV vaccine will cause teen sex cults. –Nonie3234/DaveV
  • Harriet would be a great justice. I know her heart. –suspiciousmind/AmericanRiverCanyon
  • Terrorists didn't know we could use wiretaps until they read about it in the paper. –ragnark
  • ...we are in a war that is a different kind of war than we've been in before. –station wagon
  • I will restore honor and integrity to the White House. –Nonie3234
  • Nothing is more important in a time of war than cutting taxes. –Sister Havana
  • Democrats hate America. –Sister Havana
  • Vince Foster was murdered. –Sister Havana
  • "Bin Laden Determined to Strike within the U.S."--is a historical document. –The Gryffin
  • Thousands of tactical errors were surely made in the war against Iraq. –pb
  • And when I said "thousands" of tactical errors, I was speaking figuratively. –pb
  • America has 'uncontrolled' and 'unprecedented' immigration. –Nonie3234
  • The national anthem should only be sung in English. –leftilicious
  • Jesus would have voted for Bush. –jlove1982
  • I'm a uniter, not a divider. –TVOR
  • The 'CEO' President. –TVOR
  • Whenever we say 'wiretaps' that means we're going to get a court order. –DaveV
  • If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm the dictator. –kestrel9000
  • Chris Matthews will not let anything get by him. –mjd in florida
  • George Bush was successful businessman. –Edanger6
  • Oceania has always been at war with Eurasia. – pdq
And our additions, from AMERICAblog readers:
  • God hates Fags
  • Karl told me he didn't do it.
  • If gays are allowed to marry then heterosexual men will leave their wives.
  • Ken Mehlman isn't gay.
  • Wanted: Dead or Alive.
  • The recession started BEFORE Bush came to office.
  • Republicans are for small government.
  • Republicans are pro-defense.
  • Bush will try diplomacy before invading Iran.
  • There will be no draft.
  • George Bush won the election.
  • George Bush doesn't hate black people.
  • The PDB was a historical document.
  • The religious right speaks for Christians.
  • What Americans REALLY care about is flag burning and gay marriage.
  • George Bush speaks Spanish.
  • George Washington authorized wiretapes too.
  • "I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States."


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