Bush Embraces Terrorist Group

Yes, after years of (properly) denouncing Hezbollah, Bush is forced into acknowledging it might play a political role in Lebanon's future, much as the IRA's political arm is struggling to do in Ireland. Ain't reality a pain in the neck?

Yes, after decades if not centuries of despotic leaders, twisted "education," harsh religious strictures, miserable living conditions for the many and unimaginable luxury for the few, Bush is discovering that the will of the people won't immediately be for secular Western-style democracy with full rights for women and respect for others.

Imagine his confusion:

Bush: You want me to say something nice about Hezbollah?
Dick: That's right, Mr. President.
Bush: But I thought they were the bad guys.
Dick: They are the bad guys, Mr. President. Unfortunately, they've also been providing basic services for the Lebanese people (like water and power) and have millions of supporters there.
Bush: Maybe we should start providing those services to the Iraqis.
Dick: I'll be sure and let someone know.
Bush: So Hezbollah are good guys now?
Dick: No, but we have to deal with them.
Bush: I don't understand.
Dick: It's like Saudi Arabia -- they're our friends, aren't they?
Bush: Sure! I like them.
Dick: But they're the single biggest supporter of terrorism around the world -- much bigger than Iran or Iraq was.
Bush: Really?
Dick: Yep. And Pakistan. They're our friends but they've sold more material and know-how to build nuclear weapons to rogue governments and terrorist groups than anyone else in the world.
Bush: [sigh] Do we still hate the French?
Dick: Yes, Mr. President. We'll always hate the French.