Widows Accomplished

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President Bush today called on America to address a growing crisis - the dwindling supply of our nation's widows. Since the end of the Vietnam War, America has ranked at the rock bottom of nations in terms of widows per capita. The president is asking college students to reverse this devastating trend before it's too late. "If we do not radically increase the number of widows," Bush said, "the nation's supply of unimaginable grief and senseless rage could drop to dangerous levels."

The president is doing his part by promoting marriage, provoking long and bloody wars, and providing our troops in Iraq with no clear mission or exit strategy, ensuring the return of a draft in his second term. If re-elected on November 2, Bush says he will immediately introduce the "No Widow Left Behind Act" to ensure that America again reclaims its place among the widowmakers of the world.