Clinton vs. Bush (I'm bumping this back up - now includes your suggestions)

The Republicans, since they have no record to run on, are apparently sending around an email suggesting we all vote for Bush because he's better than... Clinton.

Yes, Bush is still running against Clinton. Among the accusations in the email are that Clinton invaded Kosovo, and that was okay, but Bush invaded Iraq and somehow that's wrong. Like they're somehow the same thing. It's time for a response, and here it is. Feel free to email this to all of your friends - let's get a little viral thing going.

CLINTON VS. BUSH: What a REAL presidency looks like...

Clinton invades Kosovo, zero US combat losses.
Bush invades Iraq, 1,075 US service members dead and rising.

Clinton invades Kosovo and captures Milosevic.
Bush invades Afghanistan and lets Osama get away.

Clinton invades Kosovo, our troops have food and armor.
Bush invades Iraq, our troops are buying body armor on eBay and begging Iraqi civilians for food.

Clinton invades Kosovo, civilians greet us with flowers.
Bush invades Iraq, civilians cut off our heads.

WTC attacked when Clinton is president, only 6 people die.
WTC attacked when Bush is president, nearly 3,000 people die.

Clinton lies about a blowjob.
Bush lies about a war.

Clinton was elected by the people.
Bush was selected by the court.

Number of US planes hijacked while Clinton was president: Zero.
Number of US planes hijacked while Bush was president: 4

Clinton creates a record budget surplus in 8 years.
Bush creates a record budget deficit in 4 years.

Price of gas during Clinton presidency: $1/gal.
Price of gas during Bush president: $2/gal.

A big Clinton scandal: Firing some travel office employees.
A big Bush scandal: Abu Ghraib

Clinton held 42 solo news conferences.
Bush held 15 solo news conferences.

Number of new words invented by Clinton: Zero.
Number of new words created by Bush: A lot more than zero.

Number of gay family members betrayed by Clinton-Gore: Zero.
Number of gay family members betrayed by Bush-Cheney: One.

Clinton created the largest economic expansion in over 40 years.
Bush created the largest job loss since Herbert Hoover.

Clinton likes his fried chicken.
Bush likes his liquor.

Clinton tried pot.
Bush used cocaine.

Clinton's daughter has grown into a lovely young woman.
Bush's daughters get publicly drunk and arrested.

Clinton's wife never killed anybody.
Bush's did.

Clinton reads the newspapers.
My. Pet. Goat.