UPDATE: In respones to anyone who might wonder about the propriety of running with a story about the president's daughter being a drunk, here's my take. If the president can try to amend the Constitution to pass moral judgment on my family, I can at the very least write a blog entry passing moral judgment on his.
Wonkette reported earlier today that a very drunk Jenna Bush was spotted at a skanky DC bar this past Saturday night. Not to be outdone by America's favorite ass-fucker (that would be Wonkette, not Jenna), I was able to track down Wonkette's source (who I actually know) and get a few more details.
My source, who was out for drinks at Smith's Point bar in Georgetown, described the bar that night:
"It's gross, it's disgusting, it's the grossest bar ever, you would never go there if you weren't either wasted or stupid. The place is like a crawling Republican hangout - they all look like Tucker Carlson, it's like a bad frat boy party. The guys that hang out there are reeking of money, it smells like puke and looks like a basement."Ok then, sounds like a place ready-made for the Bush family.
My source suddenly saw someone walk by:
"I was standing by the back bar, standing a couple feet away from the bar, and this guy with a Bush/Cheney trucker hat comes by. I noticed him dragging the hand of some girl, and thought 'holy shit' that's Jenna Bush. It was obvious it was her, I knew it was her the minute she walked by. She looked just like she looks on TV, she had on jeans and a tank top."
"She was drinking Budweiser and smoking Marlboro Reds. She was incoherent, that's how drunk she was. She was holding court in back, trying to be inconspicuous. She was so drunk she couldn't even sit up, her friend dragged her to the back of the bar stumbling because she couldn't' walk on her own. She then proceeded to take more shots because, like, that's what this girl really needed at this point was more liquor."
"Later, we walked out through the back and her friend with the bad trucker hat, he was kind of like shielding her from everyone, by this point people had realized it was her. Jenna starts shoving her hand in her face to kind of cover it up, meanwhile she's so disheveled cuz she's wasted."
"She definitely liked the firewater."
